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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444125">i want your midnights</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/t15/pseuds/t15'>t15</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>holiday season [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Teenage Bounty Hunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 21:41:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,941</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28444125</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/t15/pseuds/t15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>April usually spends New Years Eve feeling lonely and reflecting on her past, but that all changes when Sterling steps in.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>April Stevens/Sterling Wesley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>holiday season [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2028556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>96</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>i want your midnights</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the third story in my holiday series but it'll still make sense if you haven't read the other two.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Every year on December 31st her parents get dressed up for a night of drinking and gossiping at the country club with people they don’t even like, and April knows this because every year they complain about these people the whole car ride home when she’s trying to sleep. </p>
<p>She hates the stuffy dresses, and the shoes that pinch her toes, and the way her mom pulls the brush a little too harshly through her hair to get it just right. But most of all she hates the seemingly simple, but ultimately very confusing rule of being on her best behavior. </p>
<p>Her parents preach and reward maturity but when she scolds one of peers for doing something stupid it’s deemed rude, because best behavior entails being polite with the adults <em>and</em> nice to the other kids. But the other kids find best behavior boring at a party and she usually spends most of the night alone, receiving the occasional glare from her mother to go play for the appearance of normalcy. She’s already gotten that look twice tonight, but April has been watching her classmates for the last couple of hours. </p>
<p>She saw Luke Creswell run straight into a waiter and cause a massive champagne spill. She saw Blair Wesley tell the live band that they were boring, much to her parents' horror. And she saw Hannah B spill ketchup on her brand new dress, most definitely leaving a stain. So April knows better than to join in on their shenanigans because of a sneaky look from her mother, especially since they probably wouldn’t want her to play with them anyway. </p>
<p>Another jazz number starts and surprisingly April has to agree with Blair. The band is boring. And according to the empty dance floor, most people feel the same way. </p>
<p>April’s sipping her glass of water when she feels a sudden tap on her shoulder.</p>
<p>“We’re gonna play hide and seek,” Sterling says. “You should come.”</p>
<p>She’s about to let her sensitive friend down easy when the girl holds out her hand and April suddenly forgets how to. She misplaces her warnings and observations, her steady senses gravitating towards a familiar smile, and she takes the outstretched hand, allowing herself to potentially be led astray for the sake of fun. </p>
<p>“I like your dress.” Sterling entwines their fingers and creates a new feeling. “It’s really pretty.” </p>
<p>“And your favorite color.”</p>
<p>“You remembered?”</p>
<p>April nods and her friend beams the whole way over to where the other kids are waiting.</p>
<p>Blair’s eyes shift down to their hands as soon as they approach and for some reason April is nervous. Her heart speeds up and the palm of her hand feels a lot warmer than it was a moment ago, all while Sterling appears entirely unfazed by her sister’s glare. </p>
<p>“I thought you were going to the bathroom.”</p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p>“Was Stevens in the bathroom?”</p>
<p>“No, I just grabbed her on the way back.” </p>
<p>A disgruntled Blair declares that everyone else should go hide while she and Sterling do the seeking, ultimately separating April from her sister and smirking while she does it. </p>
<p>They all take off into the hall as the two girls begin their count to one hundred. Luke crawls under a nearby table, Franklin crouches behind a garbage pail, Ezekiel slips into the mens bathroom where neither of the seekers can look, and Hannah B panics until she decides to disguise herself behind a leafy plant. </p>
<p>April, on the other hand, moves down the long hallway, testing a few of the door knobs until she finds one that’s unlocked. She sneaks into the supply closet, leaving the light off to stay hidden, and settles onto the floor while she waits for the Wesley’s to find her. </p>
<p>As the first few minutes go by, April pats herself on the back for her well chosen spot, but that drags out a moment too long and she finds herself growing tired. Sitting in complete darkness, her eyelids get heavier by the second until she falls asleep.</p>
<p>“There you are!”</p>
<p>April slowly stirs to the bright hall lights and a shadowy silhouette in the doorway, but she can still recognize that voice anywhere. </p>
<p>“I thought I would never find you,” Sterling says, crouching down to where April is sitting, her full grin now in view as she wiggles her eyebrows. “This is, like, a really good spot.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>“Can I?” </p>
<p>Sterling points to the open area next to April and she nods right away. Her friend scoots in and immediately rests her head on April’s shoulder, giving her that same new feeling from before. It’s something <em>fluttery</em>, or <em>bubbly</em>, or <em>tingly</em>. April isn’t quite sure what to call it, but she does like it very much. </p>
<p>“I fought with Blair,” she mutters, a puppy-like pout on her face. “She didn’t want to miss the countdown, so she gave up on looking. I didn’t want to leave you out here though. That’s not fair.” </p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>April’s not surprised or even disappointed that Blair didn’t care to finish the game and thought nothing of leaving her to wait in a closet while everyone else rang in the new year. They never really got along. The only reason they even speak is because of their common interest in occupying Sterling’s attention, which April technically just won. </p>
<p>“Did we miss the countdown?” </p>
<p>Sterling nods. “I heard it from down the hall a few minutes ago.” </p>
<p>“I’m sorry you didn’t see it.” </p>
<p>“I’m not,” she shrugs, easily brushing it off. “There’s always next year.”</p>
<p>With no desire to rush back to the party, April leans her head on top of Sterling’s and for the first time all night she feels perfectly content.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_______________________</p>
</div>An Instagram feed on a holiday might just be the most boring and predictable scroll of all time. The overused <em>new year, new me</em> has made more than a few appearances, followed by a last stitch effort to get in as many 2020 vision jokes as possible. Even <em>thank u, next</em> has made its way into a few captions despite being released two years ago. But regardless of the mind numbing content on her phone, April at least looks busy and semi-entertained, which is ultimately the goal.<p>The club actually ditched the live band this year and went with a DJ, making the music much more enjoyable until Blair realized she could make requests. The night is now turning into her own personal party, with one inappropriate suggestion after another just to see how far she can push her luck. </p>
<p>The other kids think it’s funny, even April’s two friends. Ezekiel and Hannah B both join in on the little game, recommending songs and dancing with the twins, while she watches from a lonely chair at her parents' table. </p>
<p>And she can’t actually join them, not that she would want to anyway. She wouldn’t be caught dead with the Wesley’s after finding out what they did to her father. </p>
<p>And their hatred is mutual. </p>
<p>Blair’s disdain for her has only grown following her lock-in breakup with Sterling and she’s certain the girl she blindsided with a broken heart feels the same way. </p>
<p>Knowing the night would suck, April asked her parents if she could stay home but they had other ideas. Her mother thought it would be best to have a united family front since they haven’t been welcomed back into the community. John’s arrest still stands as a massive blemish on their reputation, proving to be irreversible over a year later no matter how united they pretend to be. </p>
<p>If it were up to her, they all would’ve skipped the event tonight. They could’ve sat at home and watched the ball drop in New York City. Instead her parents are shifting from group to group, kissing up to people they don’t even like in hopes that someone will stand them long enough to have a conversation, and praying that conversation changes an already made up mind. It’s silly and childish, unlike everything they’ve taught her to be, but reputation is apparently worth sacrificing your dignity for. After all, it’s the thing her father cares most about and why April always has to be her very best for Team Stevens. </p>
<p>Most people flood the dance floor as the countdown approaches, but she stays in her seat and her parents stay at the bar on the other side of the room. As the clock strikes twelve, April swears she has never seen a happier group of people. Her two friends jump up and down with excitement, Anderson Wesley picks up one of his girls and twirls Blair around like she’s five years old, and Sterling kisses Luke. Whether it’s for old times sake or because they’re back together, April doesn’t know, but it stings nonetheless. </p>
<p>She had a better time when she missed the countdown altogether after a game landed her in a dirty old supply closet with her former friend. Sterling said, “there’s always next year,” so simply, so certain, only to give April away shortly after. They had sat in her hiding spot until they both dozed off, later awoken by their frantic parents. Well, the Wesley’s were frantic. April’s parents were more so embarrassed by the commotion she caused after temporarily going missing (certainly not best behavior). </p>
<p>Her trip down memory lane is interrupted by the sound of shattering glass and a woman’s gasp. She’s not at all surprised to find her father in the middle of it, his short temper having reached its limit after one too many people told him that his prison release did not carry automatic forgiveness. </p>
<p>Security comes but he won’t make a complete ass of himself and be forcibly removed. Instead he adjusts his sports coat, takes his wife’s hand, and steps out on his own accord, leaving April to cross the crowd of wandering eyes alone.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_______________________</p>
</div>Her apartment is spotless. She’s cleaned it twice in preparation yet here she is doing it again because, “third time’s a charm.”<p>Or maybe it’s because she’s nervous. </p>
<p>The multiple outfit changes, frequent checking of the clock, and constant waiting for an <em>I’m here</em> text message to appear on her phone, all seem to point to the latter. </p>
<p>April is officially nervous. </p>
<p>And she has every right to be. She’s been talking to Sterling for about a month without actually seeing her and it’s been great. However, now the girl is on her way, alone, to April’s one bedroom apartment for an overnight stay and she’s a little stressed about it. </p>
<p>They’ve been in a weird no man’s land ever since they reconnected, not quite friends but definitely not officially more (someone would actually have to make a move for that to happen). And although she finds flirting over text to be fun, it’s a lot harder face to face because you can’t blame it on a typo if the other person doesn’t reciprocate. </p>
<p>And April really doesn’t want to blow it. After years of making enemies she’s enjoyed having the extra friend, but she’d be lying to herself if she thought for a second that friendship was all she wanted. </p>
<p>So she changes her outfit again, trying to find that perfect balance of comfortable but not sloppy for their arranged night in. And then she’s out of time. </p>
<p>Her phone dings, she buzzes the girl in, and she waits exactly three seconds after the knock to open her door. </p>
<p>“Hey!”</p>
<p>“Hi.” </p>
<p>April sputters for a moment, leaving Sterling standing out in the hallway with a radiant smile on her face, and enough of a brain to make a move. She opens her arms and steps in close for a very stiff and awkward hug, as it takes April a second to catch up. </p>
<p>By the time she eases into the embrace, it ends, leaving them with a tense weight overhead and the other girl still standing in the doorway. They’re both a little off, April more so than Sterling, but she manages to shake it off.</p>
<p>“Come in,” she says, stepping aside and actually allowing Sterling to enter. She looks around, amazed, as if stepping into April’s home was like exploring some type of museum and April really hopes her third cleaning did the trick. </p>
<p>“Nice place you got here.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>“And it’s just you?”</p>
<p>April nods, gulping as she notices the curious tone of Sterling’s question. “If two years of dorming taught me anything it’s that I don’t really like sharing my space.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>“Unless they’re invited, of course,” she quickly adds. It’s clumsy and noticeably so, based on the way Sterling smiles. </p>
<p>“What if they invite themselves?”</p>
<p>“Well if they’re that obsessed with seeing me then I suppose I should be flattered.” </p>
<p>Her teasing lightens the mood, temporarily displacing the tension between them. It continues to flow that way as they go through take out menus for dinner, and the drink or two they then have with their food certainly helps as well, leading them to the couch where Sterling drapes her legs over April’s lap. </p>
<p>They both pretend not to notice. </p>
<p>The joking gets more frequent, taking an obvious turn towards flirting, and April wishes she could focus on that. She’s so much better with a quick witted response than a physical touch, but she wants to meet Sterling halfway and is trying to calculate what to do with her hands. </p>
<p>Eventually she rests them on the girl’s leg, stiff as a board and entirely still (not exactly as subtle and smooth as she hoped to be). Gradually though, she gets more comfortable and in turn more daring, allowing her touch to linger softly in different places, and in time not even thinking about it at all. Her hand placement flows as naturally as their back and forth, deeply lost in a conversation about old times as they casually debate who was worse with their secret. </p>
<p>“You flirted with me in class while my sister was right behind me.” </p>
<p>“I said it in spanish and everyone else in that class was dumb. It was perfectly safe,” April defends. “Do I need to remind you that you took me to a public place for our little date?”</p>
<p>“You didn’t have a problem with it when we were <em>playing</em> laser tag.” </p>
<p>She shakes her head. “Those poor kids.” </p>
<p>They’re both laughing and for the moment it’s easy. Getting caught up in memories is simple and lighthearted fun. But then it gets quiet and they’re left with the weight from before. </p>
<p>“You thought that was a date?” </p>
<p>Sterling’s voice is a little too soft, a little too reminiscent, and it feels way more intimate than their previous conversation. </p>
<p>“Was it not?”</p>
<p>“I guess it was,” she shrugs, looking bashfully away to hide her blushing cheeks. “I just never knew what you thought. Like ever. About anything.” </p>
<p>“That’s not true,” April defensively reminds her. “I know things got messy, but for those few days you really knew me and we both know I can’t say the same about you.” </p>
<p>“I should’ve told you about your dad.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you should’ve,” she bites back, shoving Sterling's legs off of her lap. She’s tempted to just get up, storm off to her room for the rest of the night, and push this neatly in the back of her mind once again. But if she walks away it would likely be for the last time, whatever this thing is will be gone, and she would have an incredibly awkward time with Sterling tomorrow morning.</p>
<p>It was easy to swallow the bitterness of their past when she didn’t have to look into her eyes or hear her voice. It was a painless betrayal to let go of when her touch wasn’t igniting all the things it used to. And it was certainly different when she didn’t have to see her smile fade, only reminding April of the night it all went wrong. </p>
<p>Except having Sterling right here, right in front of her, made it all feel fresh. Maybe it’s the fact that they never actually dealt with it that makes this old wound feel brand new, but this ache had been building inside of her for years and April’s knee jerk reaction is to hide it away, because that’s how it had to be done for the sake of her family's reputation and her secrets all those years ago. </p>
<p>“Would it have changed anything?”</p>
<p>The silence is broken with a simple question.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Would it have changed anything if I told you?” </p>
<p>Now April has envisioned this conversation many times. She used to imagine screaming at Sterling and letting it all out. <em>How dare she mess with her family. How dare she call herself a Christian and carry that big of a lie. How dare she make April a fool for trusting her.</em> And yet, in the moment, she isn’t yelling. Her face isn’t red. Her eyes aren’t teared. Her voice isn’t straining on the end of every word. She’s quiet. Because no matter how many scenarios she ran, Sterling never asked that question and they were never on the brink of what they had back then. </p>
<p>“Depends on when you said it,” she decides, exhaling the anger from her body. “If it was before anything happened between us then we never would’ve had what we did.”</p>
<p>“So do you wish I told you then?”</p>
<p>There’s an obvious insecurity to Sterling’s voice, wondering if April would take it all back if it meant knowing the truth from the start. It’s a heavy question and she herself had never really thought about it. </p>
<p>“I guess not,” she admits to the both of them.  </p>
<p>“And if I told you after?”</p>
<p>“I suppose it would’ve ended the same way.” </p>
<p>“Still would’ve been dumped,” Sterling laughs, offering an easy way back to light and simple if that is what April chooses. </p>
<p>She doesn’t.</p>
<p>“You get why I did that, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Sterling nods, more certain now than she’s been all night. “I’m sorry that I didn’t at the time.” </p>
<p>“Well I’m sorry it went down the way that it did. I never should’ve flirted with Luke.” </p>
<p>An April-like response would be warranted. She could get angry and bite back all within reason, because she had been wronged as well. </p>
<p>However, Sterling doesn’t take that either. Instead she shrugs with a nonchalance that makes forgiveness look easy. </p>
<p>“Wasn’t the worst thing that happened to me that night.” April tilts her head to the side and Sterling takes it back just as quickly as she offered the bait, timidly stating, “We’ll do that story another time.” </p>
<p>“There’s always next year.” </p>
<p>It slips out as if it’s natural, so casually suggesting something as serious as them being together or even talking a year from now, along with the assumption that Sterling would even want to share this story. April is about to correct herself when she catches the girl blush. </p>
<p>“Hey, remember when Taylor Swift performed on here and we missed it because of that stupid club party?”</p>
<p>She shifts her focus back to the TV, once again offering April an out. </p>
<p>This time she takes it. </p>
<p>“I was devastated,” April recalls, “She sang <em>Welcome to New York</em> in New York. It was epic.” </p>
<p>“You really liked that song,” Sterling smiles ever so softly for a reminiscent moment before it turns into something more of a smirk, “and <em>How You Get the Girl</em>, which now makes perfect sense.” </p>
<p>They’re laughing again and it’s easy, but this time it stays that way as nothing weighs overhead anymore. </p>
<p>Something about a place where <em>you can want who you want, boys and boys, and girls and girls</em> seemed to young April like a thing that only existed in songs, or stories, or dreams, because that certainly wasn’t like any place she had ever been. But now on her couch, in her apartment, as she guides Sterling’s legs back to where they were before, there’s a level of comfort that makes it all feel real. </p>
<p>“I was cold,” she meekly lies in response to raised eyebrows. </p>
<p>“So I’m your personal blanket?” </p>
<p>“You got a problem with that?” </p>
<p>“Not at all.” </p>
<p>She shakes her head and holds April’s stare for a second too long, turning the tension back on, and if April doesn’t look away she fears she might make the wrong move. </p>
<p>“Hey,” Sterling gently pushes, not ready to let the moment die, “thanks for letting me invite myself over.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad you did. I, um,” she pauses, <em>missed you</em> is on the tip of her tongue, “I would’ve been bored without you.” </p>
<p>“Well we can’t have that.” </p>
<p>They both let it end there, turning their attention back to the performances on screen, and soaking in a comfortable silence. It’s a lot harder for April to hold herself back than to let herself give in, because she’s very aware of how effortless this is. She hasn’t had a private moment with Sterling since she called things off and they’re essentially cuddling on the couch as if the last few years never happened. So April lets herself slip into the current and be carried along for the time being, knowing that the next wave will come soon enough. </p>
<p>It doesn’t hit until the countdown is about to begin as April sees another decision on the horizon. She feels the muscles under her hands clench and their choice now has a time limit. </p>
<p><em>(10)</em> She couldn’t possibly kiss Sterling at midnight, right? It would only complicate things if she doesn’t want her to. But what if she wants her to? <em>(9)</em> She slowly shifts her gaze over, hoping to find an answer to her question but instead she finds something else. <em>(8)</em> Sterling is already locked in on her and their eyes unexpectedly meet, causing April’s confidence to crumble. <em>(7)</em> She quickly looks away, heart racing. Now more uncertain than she was before. <em>(6)</em> What does it mean if Sterling’s looking back? <em>(5)</em> April glances again, finding an answer. <em>(4)</em> Sterling never stopped looking. <em>(3)</em> Her eyes shift down to April’s lips. <em>(2)</em> A silent question is asked <em>(1)</em> and April’s mind is made up.  </p>
<p>She starts to lean in, Sterling does too, and the room goes black as her eyes shut just before their lips meet. </p>
<p>The crowd in Times Square seems to go wild just for them and confetti flutters through the air like butterflies in her stomach as she pulls back, keeping the moment as innocent as possible just in case. </p>
<p>But that may not have been necessary. </p>
<p>Sterling grins, and then blushes when she realizes, and then looks away, fumbling over, “Happy New Year?”</p>
<p>“Happy New Year.” </p>
<p>April tries to refocus on Ryan Seacrest. She tries to be nonchalant. She tries not to think about how her hands are sweating so much that Sterling might be able to feel it through her pants. She tries not to look over at her, to smile too big, and to think about what they just did for the first time since that night in the Volt. She especially tries not to think about what it might mean for them now. </p>
<p>Eventually the ticking clock and all that effort becomes tiresome, and it isn’t until a hand lands gently on her cheek that April realizes she dozed off. </p>
<p>The touch is gone as soon as she starts to stir, whether Sterling intentionally meant to wake her or not, April isn’t sure. </p>
<p>“Why don’t you go to bed?” she suggests. “Midnight already happened. What else is there?”</p>
<p>April has to stop herself from thinking about all the other things she’d rather stay up doing, knowing that if it took her so long to work up to a simple kiss, going to bed was probably a good idea. </p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>Sterling folds her legs in and April hates how cold she immediately is. “Well, um, good night,” she says, eyes moving down to where they were before.</p>
<p>April holds her breath for a moment, but when no move is made she exhales, “Night, Sterl.” </p>
<p>When she actually stands, she can’t help but notice the way Sterling slouches down in defeat, seemingly disappointed in herself. April tries to block it out as she walks away, but the racing of her heart lets her know that sleep will not sneak up on her again. It'll be a restless night if she goes to bed like this, leaving them both crestfallen. </p>
<p>April slows a little with each step, the fear of not knowing outweighing the fear of rejection, until she stops altogether, turning to find eyes still on her. </p>
<p>“Are you coming?”</p>
<p>She doesn’t think she’s ever seen Sterling move so fast in her life.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_______________________</p>
</div>The scent of hickory slowly gets her to stir from underneath a blanket of warmth. There’s a tickle on her neck that she can’t quite place and April’s eyes open to sunshine peeking through a familiar window, but it takes a second for her to realize it’s the wrong one.<p>“Shit,” she huffs, flipping the extra weight off her body and hearing a long groan in return. </p>
<p>“Babe.”</p>
<p>“It’s morning! We fell asleep,” she hisses, panic thick in her voice as the girl comfortably cocooned in a blanket isn’t awake enough to get on her level. </p>
<p>She considers disturbing her with one quick move of ripping the comforter off, but the reaction would probably be loud and April can’t afford loud right now. With no time for something more subtle April heads for the door, making a move to escape without any help, but a groggy voice stops her just as she reaches for the handle. </p>
<p>“Happy anniversary.” </p>
<p>She turns around, brow raised in question. “You do know that it’s actually on New Years Day, right?”</p>
<p>Sterling props herself up on her elbows, hair hanging messily in her face, and eyes only half open. </p>
<p>“Sue me for being excited.” </p>
<p>Her halfhearted eye roll is enough to soften April on its own, but when paired with a sleepy smile, she finds herself back on the bed, ducking in for a quick kiss, regardless of her need to sneak out as fast as possible. </p>
<p>“I love you,” she says, letting Sterling kiss her once more, “but if your parents find me in here this may be the first and last one we spend together.” </p>
<p>She whines in response and April actually has to peel her arms off her waist in order to get back up. </p>
<p>This is a situation where she will not be swayed, no matter how much pouting is involved. April was specifically instructed to sleep in the guest room over the holidays and that had been her plan until she apparently fell asleep in the wrong bed last night, breaking their one rule. </p>
<p>Sterling is in the middle of insisting that it’s not a big deal when she opens the door to Debbie Wesley standing on the other side, arms crossed. </p>
<p>“You were saying?” </p>
<p>April feels like a child, and not even her past self because she never got in this much trouble as a kid. She feels like a rebellious little child and she doesn’t think she’s ever been more uncomfortable in her life. </p>
<p>She’s as tucked into the corner of the couch as she could possibly go, legs folded, as if making herself small would make her disappear. Sterling is thankfully on the other end, because April is way too mortified to be within less than three feet of her. </p>
<p>Blair paces behind them like a guard while they get an incredibly awkward, stern talking to from Debbie about respecting the rules of the house. She stays quiet the whole time, only looking up when absolutely necessary out of respect. Sterling, on the other hand, makes matters worse when she tries to argue. </p>
<p>“We didn’t even, you know,” she lowers her voice, “do anything.”</p>
<p>Her sister howls with laughter and April thinks she might die of embarrassment right there. </p>
<p>She’s barely made eye contact with the Wesley’s (girlfriend included) since the morning incident. Anderson, oblivious to it all, has tried to make light conversation amongst a very tense group of women. It fails miserably, as do many of Blair’s innuendos, but that doesn’t stop her. </p>
<p>The whole time they were getting ready for the country club party she was making joke, after joke, after joke. Debbie had to beg her to stop, and is now on her second glass of wine, avoiding the three girl’s at all costs and busying herself with the other wives. </p>
<p>“I don’t know what’s more embarrassing,” Blair starts, “the fact that you guys got caught or that you seriously just slept.”</p>
<p>“It was an accident.”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, I believe it.” </p>
<p>April rolls her eyes at their back and forth, trying to tune the twins out as she scans the room for a pair of familiar faces. If her memory serves her right they would be over by the bar, one with a glass of champagne and the other with scotch, likely standing alone.</p>
<p>“I thought maybe you were trying to recreate the anniversary.”</p>
<p>“Well that <em>technically</em> isn’t until tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“It was after midnight,” April argues, “there’s nothing technical about it.” </p>
<p>The twins exchange a look for an uncomfortably long moment, although no words are said between them. Blair eventually excuses herself to go “uh, somewhere,” but before she does, she grabs Sterling and whispers just loud enough for April to hear, “Drag her off to a supply closet later. Might help with the moodiness.” </p>
<p>Sterling’s eyes go wide as her sister practically dances away after striking a match, as per usual. Now for the first time since this morning, they’re alone, and with another thing to talk about thanks to Blair. </p>
<p>“Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Why? Do I seem moody?”</p>
<p>She crosses her arms but Sterling doesn’t back down. </p>
<p>“Honestly, yeah,” she answers. “And I get that things were awkward before, I mean, we totally got in trouble with my mom, but you’ve been weirder since we got here.”</p>
<p>April steps in closer, letting her voice drop low. “My parents are over there,” she says, pointing across the room. Sterling’s wide gaze follows her finger. “We, like, made eye contact for a second and then he just looked away.” </p>
<p>“I had no idea. They haven’t come since, well, you know...” Her voice trails off when April nods, remembering the last time they were all there very clearly. “Do you want to leave? I can round everybody up or we could take an Uber. Hell, we could hoof it right now.” </p>
<p>“I was actually thinking of going over there,” April admits, shocking her very concerned girlfriend, who was ready to walk across town with her on a late December night. “I’ve been wondering if the rest of my stuff is still at the house and being that we haven’t seen or spoken to each other in eighteen months this might be my best opportunity.” </p>
<p>“Is there anything there that you even want?”</p>
<p>She nods. A certain book with a certain recipe inside, her Willingham yearbook, and her old journal are a few of the things that come to mind. Just some hard copies of happier memories, because at the moment it looks as if her life only just began when she went off to college. </p>
<p>“Then we’ll go by tomorrow to check it out.”</p>
<p>“We can't do that.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“That’s no way to spend an anniversary.”</p>
<p>“I think it sounds great. Really romantic,” Sterling jokes, but there’s still a sincerity to it that makes April want to object again. However, the other sister hesitantly approaches with a fresh drink in hand before she gets the chance. “Blair could come too.”</p>
<p>“Where?”</p>
<p>“April’s parents house,” she explains. “We’re gonna clear out her stuff.” </p>
<p>“Oh, I’m so there!”</p>
<p>“But Sterl—”</p>
<p>“Stop,” she says gently, taking April by the hand. “If this is what you need then it’s what we’ll do. And if you’re up for it I can take you to dinner afterwards for our year together and your big step. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.” </p>
<p>“Do I get dinner for helping?”</p>
<p>“Blair,” she whines, “I’m trying to do a thing here.”</p>
<p>“My bad.” </p>
<p>“As I was saying—”</p>
<p>April cuts her off with a quick kiss, surprising the both of them after a pretty spacious day. “You made your point. Thank you.” </p>
<p>Following a few words of encouragement, she makes her way over to her parents who are standing alone as expected. Both twins had offered to go with her, but April didn’t think that would be a good idea right now. In a public place that seemed a little too confrontational, but in her old house tomorrow April will definitely bring the extra support. </p>
<p>“Hi,” she starts, but April isn’t greeted with anything in return. Her mother’s gaze flicks to the floor and her father hides behind his glass, both incredibly uncomfortable with the mere presence of their daughter. It stings but she doesn’t let herself falter. “Okay, I’ll get to it then. Did you throw out the rest of my stuff or is it still in my room?” </p>
<p>“Your mother wanted to keep it in case you changed your mind.”</p>
<p>“About what? Being a lesbian?”</p>
<p>When she doesn’t get a response, April knows that’s exactly what he means. </p>
<p>“Well I didn’t, so I’ll pick it up tomorrow with my girlfriend and her sister,” she says, focusing her attention on John. “I believe you’re familiar with them.”</p>
<p>April glances over her shoulder towards Sterling and Blair, who immediately look away as if they hadn’t been staring this whole time. The sinister smirk she reserved for her father turns into an easy grin, leaving one pair behind to return to another, and maybe taking Blair’s advice about that supply closet.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>_______________________</p>
</div>The keys jingle in her hand as she tries to find the right one. There’s the one for the front door of their building, one for their mailbox, and one for their apartment, and they all look annoyingly similar.<p>She can hear Sterling bouncing behind her, silently pleading for April to go faster. The girl insisted on carrying both of their bags and has been complaining the whole way from the car about the weight and needing to use the bathroom. </p>
<p>“I told you I would help.”</p>
<p>“I know. I just never expected yours to be so heavy.” Sterling sets the bags down for a moment, flexing her fingers. “It was just a week at my parents house.” </p>
<p>“I like to be prepared,” she shrugs, opening the front door and letting Sterling in first. She wobbles to the stairs while April hits the mailbox, knowing she’ll catch up before Sterling even reaches their floor. </p>
<p>And she does. </p>
<p>April passes her by the second flight, not even bothering to offer assistance for what would be the third time. </p>
<p>Sterling lands on solid ground, out of breath and a few steps behind when they reach the fourth floor. “Do you think my mom was annoyed that we didn’t stay for the party?” she pants, now wheeling the suitcase down the hall. </p>
<p>“Probably,” April shrugs. </p>
<p>Blair had convinced them to visit for the holidays again, which they were more than happy to do for Christmas, but Sterling was insistent that they return home for New Years. April didn’t quite understand the big deal. Now that they live together she doesn’t have to stay in the guest room anymore, so privacy isn’t an issue. However, she’s always game to skip the annual country club extravaganza and didn’t bother to question the girl’s persistence. </p>
<p>“Regretting your decision to skip out early?”</p>
<p>“Not yet.” </p>
<p>Sterling only takes about two steps into the apartment before she drops her bags and runs towards the bathroom, shouting a quick hello to the black cat perched on their kitchen counter. Stepping around the luggage, April decides to worry about that later, and settles for going through the mail instead. She doesn’t get very far before a fuzzy little head starts nudging her hand. </p>
<p>“Missed you too,” she says, scratching under his chin. </p>
<p>A much calmer Sterling returns from the bathroom, exhaling a breath of relief. “Someone’s happy we’re home.”</p>
<p>“Do you mean me or Vader?”</p>
<p>“I guess both,” she laughs, filling his bowl with food. As the cat hops down from the counter April remembers their neighbor.</p>
<p>“I should go thank Marcy for feeding him for us.” </p>
<p>“I’ll do it.”</p>
<p>April gives her a weird look. “You’re really big on volunteering today.” </p>
<p>“I aim to please.”</p>
<p>She shakes her head as a cackling Sterling slips out into the hallway and returns her attention to the mail, finding a letter that doesn’t belong to them for the third time this month. April groans at the clearly labeled wrong address and halfway opens a drawer, about to write a strongly worded note to their mailman, only she can’t find a pen. </p>
<p>Over the years she’s learned that Sterling will never be totally organized and April has come to terms with having a junk drawer, but not being able to find a single pen is just preposterous. </p>
<p>She blindly feels around a sea of papers and phone chargers until she lands on something solid and...velvet? </p>
<p>April pauses, letting her hand linger there for a moment. With her eyebrows furrowed she opens the drawer fully and confirms that there is indeed a jewelry case in her hand. One that is too small for a necklace or bracelet, and definitely not what earrings are packed in. Her heart rate quickens as she comes to the conclusion that —</p>
<p>A door closes from behind and April immediately drops the box back into the mess, quickly turning around to an oblivious and confused Sterling.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>April closes the drawer. “Nothing,” she lies. Her voice cracks and a knowing look forms on Sterling’s face. </p>
<p>“You found it, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>She asks it softly. There’s no anger or disappointment. She’s even starting to smile as April bashfully looks away. </p>
<p>“I might have.” </p>
<p>“Did you peek?”</p>
<p>April firmly shakes her head. “No.” </p>
<p>“Do you want to?”</p>
<p>“Maybe.”</p>
<p>Without a word Sterling steps in and opens the drawer, reaching into the back corner for the little box and finding it easily within the mess. She fiddles with it in her hand and April can’t tear her eyes away. Whether it be disbelief or anticipation, she doesn’t allow herself to look anywhere else, even when she’s standing so close she can hear Sterling take in a shaky breath. </p>
<p>“I was gonna wait for midnight and make it cute since our anniversary isn’t until after the new year,” she admits, blush spreading across her cheeks already, “but you’ll probably be asleep by then anyway, and I’m honestly just surprised I made it this far without accidentally telling you.” </p>
<p>Sterling pops the box open and April is instantly floored. She can feel eyes on her but she can’t bring herself to meet them, and although she added this up moments ago, somehow still at the sight of the ring, she’s breathless. “Sterling.”</p>
<p>“I love you—”</p>
<p>“Yes.” </p>
<p>She laughs, “I didn’t even say anything yet.”</p>
<p>But April’s hands are on her cheeks as she kisses her anyway, and Sterling doesn’t seem to mind at all. In fact, April can feel her smiling against her lips almost too much to properly kiss her back. Arms wrap around her waist, pulling her in close, and April thinks she could stay that way all night, until she feels the little box press into her back. </p>
<p>“Sorry,” she exhales, breaking away for a moment, “did you actually want to say something?”</p>
<p>Sterling shakes her head, kissing her once more. “You don’t really seem like you need convincing.”</p>
<p>“Not this time.” </p>
<p>It’s almost midnight and April is way too excited to be falling asleep. She’s hardly even seen a second of Ryan Seacrest or Times Square, as she can’t take her eyes off of the ring on her finger and the hand holding hers, mainly because it all still feels a little unreal.</p>
<p>The evening moved with a dream-like blur from the proposal, to their celebration afterwards, and then to their facetime call with the Wesley’s at the club party. </p>
<p>Sterling’s family was so excited that Anderson stopped the band to make an announcement and for a second April wondered if her parents were there as well. </p>
<p>Debbie, after nearly ruining her mascara, asked them if they wanted to book the club as a venue to which Sterling said, “It’s only been like an hour. Relax.”</p>
<p>“You took an hour to tell us this?” </p>
<p>“I’m sure they were busy, mom.”</p>
<p>Blair apparently knew the whole time and managed not to spoil anything while they were staying at the house for an entire week. An impressive feat that Sterling didn’t think she could pull off and in turn bet that if she kept her mouth shut Blair could refer to April as her twin-in-law. </p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Sorry, babe.”</p>
<p>“A bet’s a bet. I am one hundred percent keeping this.” </p>
<p>Now as the year comes winding down, they’ve ditched the fancy party to be curled up on the couch, forgotten the dresses in exchange for their pajamas, leaving behind the boring music for a Taylor Swift performance that April would’ve hated to miss. It’s everything she’s ever wanted and more when Sterling squeezes her hand three times as the countdown starts. She couldn’t think of a better way to ring in the new year or even imagine being more in love, so April doesn’t bother waiting the ten seconds to kiss her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is the last one of the holiday collection, check out the other two if you want. Hope you liked it!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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